So sure, you already sort of know how I feel because of the blogs but I hope this blog thingy madoper talks more about my feelings and just how I feel about the whole thing.
As I’ve said before, I am not like the TCKs who hate being a TCK. I AM THE OPPOSITE! I LOVE THIS LIFE WITH ALL MY HEART! Over the years I’ve learned not every country is the same and that’s what makes them beautiful. I’ve been in countries where you always have to work and people think happiness is money, while in another country, happiness is the time spent with other people.
It is very lonely to be a TCK around people who are not. Sometimes they are homophobic or racist. But they usually never understand me. How could I like such a life? How can I “survive” it? I can’t talk about the world and how one country is AMAZING for their food while the other is THE BEST for their historical sights with people who don’t travel like I can with other who do.
When I find other TCK children, I am usually very skeptical of them. I don’t really like talking to people my age or younger because we never really have anything interesting to say. Sometimes I forget how different TCKs are. There’s always some crazy or funny story you hear from people. “School in this country is different because ____” “The people in this country remind me of this other country and how they act towards ____”. It’s always so fun to learn about other countries and by the time I’m done talking to a TCK, I want to go everywhere they’ve mentioned.
Timezones are a struggle. Not just for texting people but YouTube too! When a person says “I post videos every Monday and Friday” I have to tell myself “That means every Tuesday and Saturday”. When people talking about a shooting that just happened or anything else that happens on a certain date, I have to figure out what day that would be here. When texting, I accidentally get kids in trouble in class or wake people up so all my friends and I have learned to put each other on Do Not Disturb or turn notifications off.
My family and I have moved so many times so that means I’ve had to say goodbye to a lot of people, a lot of toys, houses, and states. My parents say that this has made me shut everyone out. Even if I’m friends with people, I don’t fully let them in because I know we wills stop talking in a couple years. I have also become very clingy because of this and every once in a while text some of my best friends pleading them not to ignore me or become strangers to each other. I feel very guilty for being friends with these people because as I have said, I push people away. I purposely make people hate me even if our friendship is at its strongest. Usually I don’t realise I’m doing it until it’s too late.
So that’s a little bit of how I feel! Bye bye!